So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
