yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
