You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Randomize
