we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
did you just send me my own nude
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
