Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
