we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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