I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
