Where did you get a picture of my penis
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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