ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
