This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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