I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
