Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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