If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
