ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
