Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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