Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
