WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
