dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
