Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
