I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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