the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
