I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
