Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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