There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
His hands were made for my vagina.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
