i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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