Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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