Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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