I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
