I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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