Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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