I hate all girls vehemently.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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