My first STD was from a foam party
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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