Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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