I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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