She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
