gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
