If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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