her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
