my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
