i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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