I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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