In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
