whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
