I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
