u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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