a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
