Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
