I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I love having hate sex.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
