his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Randomize
