so explain again why im purple
no
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
