remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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