it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
