Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
